The Flagellator - Convenient Hands-Free Self-Flagellation
You're a sinner, and you know it.
According to CnD Ministries, the average person sins every 27 minutes. Many people are too busy to think about the consequences... so, you know where they'll be in the afterlife.
Atonement doesn't have to mean taking time out for church, because a little self-flagellation can make up for most of your sinful behavior.
Yesterday, self-flagellation was accompanied by numerous discomforts. Who has time these days to whip themselves? Having the energy to do it wanes with each successive crack of the whip. We all have other responsibilities that tend to distract us from this important daily task.
What if there was a nifty hands-free mechanism (worn like a fanny pack) that enables you to punish yourself while also continuing with your busy day? What if it allowed you to take care of other important tasks while you pay for your sins - things like making phone calls, preparing dinner or just relaxing in front of the TV?
Obviously, everyone would prefer to rely on a machine for self-flagellation - the number one concern people have is whether The Flagellator is reliable. It turns out that it is. According to Sister Kristina of St. Augustine's Church in Vancouver, Canada: "We share one Flagellator among a dozen of us here and let me tell you, it gets a work out".
The Flagellator is the perfect gift for that special someone.
The Flagellator is a Great Invention for many reasons. We liked the hands-free convenience. Our founder actually wears his while jogging. You too will find it easy to self-flagellate, tell us your success story and you might see it here.
$99.99
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